Patterns in the sand

 J. Sgrignoli

My eyes have seen
The crystal mandala

The design inscribed in the stars

The timeless,

Infinite beauty of the universe

Imprinted in a grain of sand.

I have been waiting my whole life

To see the world through

These bejewelled eyes

A kaleidoscope of dreams

A deep awakening from the water’s edge

Soft

Sizzling

Foaming

Spritz !

The ebb and flow of the tide

Mirrors my own heart’s content

I feel free
and humbled to feel

To speak the words

I love you

With genuity and grace
What else could there be?

Some people wait their whole lives for this...

Tell me-- what do you long for?

On holding the dark places...

It’s not about going from dark to light, but being with all of it, and holding it all lightly--with an equal mind. This is what is referred to in Yoga as equanimity, or practising equanimity.

Often times, when I listen to people talk about Yoga, what I’m hearing is an escape from reality; a transportation to the land of bliss, a chance to leave the messy bits behind. Which is all fine if you are aware that’s where it’s taking you, (this is great learning in the making) but if it’s at the expense of accepting what is coming up for you in the present moment, it has the potential to create suffering.

Our reactions to emotional/ pyschological discormforts either play out as cravings for something that is desired, but not readily attainable, or aversions to something uncomfortable that isn’t welcomed. Either way, according to Yogic Psychology, this is what causes suffering.

As long as we remain aware that the projection or fantasy that we are creating is a desire to have or avoid something--past or future, and like everything else, will come to pass, we are making good progress.

I know it may sound morbid to view the world through the lens of “everything has its time and must eventually come to an end”, but rather, it becomes an acceptance of what inevitably will be. Enjoying the experience while we are in it, but accepting that it will come to pass, just as it came.

I once heard the saying, “resistance is futile”, and it made me think-- if I can accept universal law of impermanence, one I cannot change, then wouldn’t it be far better to roll with the punches, instead of getting knocked down by them? To flow with the nature of reality as it is, instead of against it!  What a fresh new perspective this brings for living each moment as it comes, whatever shade of colour it takes on.  

Dare to Dream???

Photo and Quote by J.S

So, what makes us run for the hills when it comes to living out our wildest dreams? What brings us to the very edge of living out our dreams, before we put the brakes on-- bringing us to a dead stop?

I finally put together my vision board the other week-- only took me over 1 year!!! Funny how long it takes to just cut some pictures out and glue them onto a stinkin’ piece of cardboard!! Gahh!

So this got me thinking--what is actually behind my well-executed procrastination skills?  Believe me, I have had every excuse in the book for not cutting and pasting this one together. “Oh, everything I have wanted has already come true..This won’t change anything...I want it to look perfect and pretty, so I will avoid doing it at all because I’m scared of it not turning out the way I imagine it…” and on and on, enough to fill in a year’s worth of excuses...you get the picture.

So, what is it that really holds us back from putting our dreams into reality? What is the real nitty gritty truth behind our deepest desires and what we will actually give ourselves permission to have; to be, essentially. And this isn’t about having in the sense of clinging to material wealth in order to be happy, but a comfort of living that brings us sustenance, nourishment and inspiration--allowing us to fulfill our life's purpose for the betterment of ourselves, others and the planet.

As a Yoga Teacher, I used to think that if I accepted money for what I did, then I wasn’t being authentic. I believed that since everyone deserves to be supported on the spiritual path, and it’s something that everyone is entitled to, who am I to charge for something that should be open and free to everyone? But a friend once said to me, “ I use money as a gauge to see how well I am fulfilling my mission in the world..” and that really struck me. That’s how I can continue to give back for the duration of my mission… Some food for thought...

I also used to think…

..."At some level, I know that I am in control of my destiny, and it scares me to think that I hold the key to my own happiness. And, surely, I don’t want to make any mistakes...”

..."What if...I dream the dream, and it never happens? Then I’ll just be left disappointed and discouraged….

…”How can it be possible to live the life of my dreams just by posting it up on a board, surely it takes more than that?"...

...“Am I ready? Ready to accept the changes and ripples effects this will make in my life?...”

…”Do I feel worthy/fortunate enough?"...

...”Who am I to deserve to live happily ever after? Surrounded by the richness of beautiful landscapes, living out the career of my dreams?"...

But now I know where all this is coming from.

It's coming straight from a place of doubt, fear and lack. 

And I know this reality isn't a state of "clear seeing," -- this is not me, and I don't have to become this, if I choose.

Does any of the above sound familiar?

This reminds me of a famous quote by Marianne Williamson- you may have heard it before, but it doesn’t hurt to have reminders now and then. We tend to forget how powerful we really are, to our own detriment.  

Here it goes...“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be…? Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine…”