When I Loved Myself Enough

When I loved myself enough I started packing it in earlier at night

And actually going to bed earlier

When I loved myself enough, I started taking well needed afternoon naps and not feeling one ounce of guilt about it

When I loved myself enough, I stopped worrying that I “ought to be able to do more,” and instead thinking “ this is exactly how much I’m supposed to be doing right now- not by anyone else’s standards.”

When I loved myself enough, I became content with myself exactly as I am

When I loved myself enough, I learned how to use the word “NO,” even though I knew it may disappoint another.

When I loved myself enough, I started telling myself this in the mirror- every morning, every night- with a smile

When I loved myself enough I started taking intentional walks down by the river even in the wintertime

When I loved myself I started listening closely to my internal rhythms and how the rhythms of my cycle connect with the rhythms in nature, and to the seasons.

When I loved myself I let myself cry, even over things I knew I probably shouldn’t be crying about because, well, others have it way worse.

When I loved myself enough I started dancing with myself, singing out loud, resting more

When I loved myself enough, I started speaking up when others would interrupt me, and ask that they let me finish and not feel bad about asking for that

When I loved myself enough, I started listening to my inner voice, and not second guessing it

When I loved myself enough, I’d whisper to myself, “I love you,” without worrying how silly this might sound to me or to anyone else if they heard me.

When I loved myself enough, I stopped expecting from others what I could give to myself-  I am the one I am looking for, I am the one I want to be with. No one else can fill this place, only I.

When I loved myself enough, I sat down and wrote this poem.